Mood:  sad
Today was a bad day for me. My best friend is not my best friend anymore, she chose to leave me out and to go with others. We were best friends for years, until today, we are now friends. I don't know, but she's acting as if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. She asks me why I decided to be friends, but I knew she wouln't understand. I told her why and I was right she didn't understand. In school, if I can't take it anymore, then this long friendship is over. I really hope someday we could be best friends again, but now I really don't. I really wonder if my life's a lie. My mom brought my into this world of pain and sadness. My mom wants to date/marry someone that tried to abuse me. She explains to me why, but I don't care. She bleames me for whatever I/she does wrong. My life is nothing but lies. My mom promised me that she would forget the guy that tried to abuse and never forgive him. Then he told her that he would kill himself. When she heard that she changed her mind. This world is a world of pain. When I heard my mom say that she loved him I could never forgive her and that guy. On one day I talked to her crying telling her I didn't like him, that I wanted her to forget him, and I wanted her to stay away from him. She told me that she couldn't do that. I cried and cried. I asked her why she gave birth to me if I didn't get a say in anything. She cried. So then I told her that she couldn't have contact with him in anyway until her birthday, which is at the end of this year, and if she did that then I would forget what he did to me. But I lied I could never do that. My life is the worst, I wish I had a mother that cared of my feelings and never would have bleamed me for everything. But my life will never change. It will stay the same until it is my last day here.